Yesterday was a day that rocked the autism community. Feda Almaliti, one of the founders of the National Council on Severe Autism and who was recognized nationally for her outspoken and often brash and hilarious advocacy for individuals and families impacted by autism, perished in an accidental house fire with her beloved son Muhammed. Feda was able to run out of the house along with her sister and niece but then went back in to bring out Mu. She could not carry him but kept fighting till she lost her breath due to heavy smoke. When the fire officials found the bodies, Feda was holding Muhammed.
Our hearts are broken.
Feda had just turned 43 five days before the fire, and she was at a turning point, filled with a buoyant energy about her future. She talked of many plans — dating, going back to school, helping to chair new autism programs and conferences, and even writing (well, dictating, as she admitted) a book called, of course, #AutisticAF.
Thousands of people had seen Feda tell her family’s story on various stages, millions had heard her despair in an NPR interview, a rapidly growing audience was tuning into her new podcast, The Scoop, and many thousands in the Bay Area had benefited from the events she helped organize, including autism family pool parties (inspired by her own frustration of having nowhere to take Mu to swim), huge Autism Society San Francisco Bay Area conferences on adult autism, webinars, and parent support gatherings among them. With The Scoop and other efforts she was buzzing with excitement about opportunities to discuss with honesty and compassion the hardest issues facing autism families. She was irrepressible, lord help anyone who got in her way.
Feda was a friend like no other. She was not interested in judging you, only helping you. She wanted to hear your story and get to know you, and offer support and hugs, not to mention her amazing hummus and baba ghanoush, when you were down. She was so magnetic she could make a friend for life in under 20 seconds.
Her love for and dedication to Mu was legendary, although she never sugar-coated the challenging days. She wanted to give Mu his best life, taking him all over the Bay Area for all manner of events and gatherings, giving the finger, both literally and figuratively, to those who might disapprove. At her 40th birthday party Mu danced with joy, and in everyday life he smothered her with hugs and kisses. She firmly believed in him and fought to get him every therapy and support she could. When we heard she had died trying to save Mu, a friend remarked, “Of course she did, she would not have been able to live with herself otherwise.”
Feda will be deeply missed by her innumerable friends and colleagues. She is survived by her beloved adult sons Ibrahim and Khalil, her parents, and her many adoring brothers and sisters.
—NCSA Board of Directors
Ways to Honor Feda and Mu
[Event and virtual event information to be posted soon]
Address for letters and other mail
Salah Family
1141 Apple Ave
Hayward, CA 94541
Post your respects, memories, and photos online on Forever Missed
https://www.forevermissed.com/feda-mu/about
Donations
We know that Feda would have appreciated donations to any of the following in her and Mu's honor.
National Council on Severe AutismFeda was so proud to have been a founding board member of the NCSA. She was devoted to bringing the realities of severe autism to light, to help forge desperately needed advances in programs, care and national policy.
https://www.ncsautism.org/donate
Autism Society San Francisco Bay AreaAs Vice President of SFASA, Feda loved creating local events to help her fellow autism families. These included the SFASA Pool Parties, Autism on Tap series, and of course the annual conferences. Feda Fund donations will be used toward creating future events Feda would have loved.
https://www.sfautismsociety.org/donate.html
Autism Law Summit (Feda Almaliti Scholarship Fund)Feda had hundreds of autism friends around the country whom she knew because of the annual Autism Law Summit. Feda wowed the audience at the 2018 Summit with a luncheon keynote that had everyone laughing and crying at once. In her honor, the Autism Law Summit has established the Feda Almaliti Scholarship Fund to bless one or more parent advocates.
https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/fedascholarshipfund
Autism Mental Health Insurance ProjectFeda got her start in autism advocacy by fearlessly pushing for insurance reform in California, to expand access to behavioral health treatments for all affected by autism. Your donations will go towards a scholarship fund to assist low income families with advocacy services. Feda served on the board of directors and helped to guide its vision from 2013 until her death.
www.mhautism.org
It's not too late to get to know Feda:
Podcast
The Scoop Podcast
NCSA
Inclusion Sucks. Or, Why My Son with Severe Autism Has Nowhere to Swim this Summer: An autism mom stuck at home with her son on a hot summer day meditates on the smallness of his world when inclusion is the only option
Three Strikes... and He's Out? What happens when the regular world has had enough of my son's autism
STAT News
Life with an autistic child can be difficult. During a pandemic it can be grueling
NPR’s All Things Considered
Feda and Mu honored on National Public Radio just two days after their passing here
'He's Incredibly Confused': Parenting A Child With Autism During The Pandemic (recorded 5 months earlier)
National Public Radio'sAll Things Considered here
Autism Science Foundation Podcast here(by Alycia Halladay)
East Bay Times here
CBS San Francisco here
NBC Bay Area here
Daily Mail (UK) here
The first piece written about Feda’s advocacy